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When attending a funeral, it is important to be considerate towards the family members’ wishes. Understanding correct funeral etiquette will prepare you to enter a funeral service in a comfortable and respectful way. Important factors to consider before attending a funeral would be what to wear, where to sit, whether you should bring anything with you, and whether it would be appropriate for you to attend. We have put together a few tips within this guide to assist you with all the important fundamentals to remember before entering any funeral service.

What to Wear to a Funeral

Black is the traditional colour for funeral attire due to its representation of mourning and is a sign of respect and the general norm for funeral etiquette. Darker colours and something conservative is always a safe and respectful option to consider. Listen to what the family suggests, as some may request for guests to wear something bright to celebrate their loved one’s life or ask to wear a certain colour in memory of the deceased. Guests are generally required to dress in smart attire. We would suggest avoiding anything too casual, while also making sure you are comfortable and what you are wearing is weather appropriate – especially if you are attending a burial.

What to Bring

Deciding on what to bring to a funeral can be difficult. Whether you are a family member, friend or acquaintance, it’s helpful to know what the right things to bring would be, to avoid feeling uncomfortable throughout the day. Depending on the relationship you had with the deceased and family members, it is always a thoughtful gesture to bring flowers or a sympathy card to show your respects. If you were not particularly close with the family’s loved one, being present and showing that you’re thinking of them by supporting them on the day is just as appropriate and a thoughtful component of acceptable funeral etiquette.

Useful things to remember to bring with you can include:

• Tissues/ Handkerchief
• Sympathy Card
• Flowers or Charity donation
• A photograph/ Story/ Memory
• Umbrella/ Sunglasses

Where to Sit

The first couple of rows are typically reserved for close family members. Being respectful by arriving slightly earlier and getting a seat at the back, allowing room for extended family and friends is an important factor to consider. Once seated, remain quiet and dutiful throughout the service until the end.

What Happens After the Funeral

After the majority of most services, the family and funeral directors will have arranged a wake. This is an opportunity for the guests and family to get together and share fond memories over some light refreshments and drinks in either a private function or in the comfort of a family member’s home. This is the perfect opportunity to properly pay your respects or share a memory of the deceased.

Contact

If you have any other questions regarding proper funeral etiquette, our team at Cope Memorials would be more than happy to answer any questions you may have. For information on the other services we provide, please fill out an online form, or give us a call today on our landline 01773 602 187 or mobile 07817187371.

 

Guide to Writing and Delivering a Eulogy

When a loved one passes away, it can be difficult to really put into words exactly how much they mean to you. You want to be able to pay proper tribute and respect, but how can you articulate so many memories and so much emotion faithfully on paper? Creating a eulogy may seem like a daunting and insurmountable task, however there is no need to worry as Cope Memorials are here to help ease the burden. Below we have put together a useful guide to assist our customers when writing and delivering a eulogy.

Eulogy Preparation

The planning stage is a crucial component when it comes to writing and delivering a eulogy. Write down significant moments and achievements in the life of the deceased as well as any special memories that you share; this may also mean speaking to other family members and friends to create a well-rounded view of the departed. Pay close attention to important dates or names of people whom you plan on mentioning as these need to be delivered correctly and respectfully.

Whilst it is important when writing and delivering a eulogy to decide on the overall tone of your tribute, don’t be afraid to share some humour amidst more sombre moments. After all, a funeral is both a time to grieve as well as a time to celebrate the life of your loved one, therefore the whole process can be very cathartic and simultaneously uplifting.

Writing a Eulogy

Writing down your eulogy will not only help you properly structure your tribute but will also give you an indication of the overall timing and pace of your speech. The ordering of what you say is completely flexible, however we recommend having a clearly defined introduction, middle section and conclusion. For example, you could begin by talking about your fondest memory with the deceased, then go through highlights of their career or family life, ending with how they have impacted the lives of those around them.

Delivering a Eulogy

The overall process of writing and delivering a eulogy is extremely emotional, therefore it is understandable if you find yourself struggling to stem the flow of tears. Take courage and strength from those listening to you, pause for a moment to allow yourself to breathe, and then carry on. Your delivery doesn’t have to be perfect – in fact you may well find yourself moving back and forth between laughing and crying – just remember to speak from the heart.

Summary: How To Write and Deliver a Eulogy

• Decide what type of eulogy you want to give (e.g. life history, shared memories, etc)
• Write for the audience, not for you. The audience will all have their own experiences and memories of the deceased individual, try and connect with all them
• Make your eulogy both funny and sad. You don’t want it to be too serious, and equally you don’t want it to lack poignancy. Try and lace both elements in
• Write it down, don’t try to “wing” it! Emotions will be high, and you don’t want to forget what you want to say on the day
• Practice, practice, and practice some more

Contact

The expert team here at Cope Memorials are always on hand to assist our customers with their headstone needs. If your loved one has passed away and you would like further advice and guidance on memorials, don’t hesitate to contact us by calling on 01773 602 187 or by completing our online form.

 

Headstone Material

Headstones or gravestones are incredibly personal, and should always be tailored to the person they’re commemorating. In addition to the inscription, shape, and flowers on a memorial, though, it’s extremely important to seriously consider the implications of the material you use.

Granite

Granite remains one of the most reliable and popular materials for building headstones. A granite headstone is extremely strong and provides a number of options in terms of appearance. With a range of colours available, there’s plenty of scope to personalise the piece while always maintaining the iconic, timeless style that granite provides. Finally, the durability of granite seals its reputation as one of the best materials for headstones.

Marble

Marble headstones are, again, relatively diverse. They offer plenty of versatility when it comes to appearance, allowing for white, grey, and black designs, while simultaneously providing a distinctive and iconic look. The material is also perfect for intricate and highly-detailed designs, making these headstones another firm favourite.

Sandstone

One of the main benefits of using sandstone for headstones is the ease with which they can be shaped. The material does not, therefore, restrict the stonemason in terms of the shape they’re able to fashion. For people who are looking for a truly bespoke shape to their headstone, sandstone provides a brilliant option.

Other Material Options

There are, of course, a number of other options when it comes to choosing the material for headstones. Several of them are rarely used today, but we’ve listed a few here for those among you who might want to consider something completely different:

• Limestone
• Slate
• Iron
• Wood

 

Other types of stone are available, but not necessarily in general use. If a customer requires a specific material not mentioned in our brochure we can advise on suitability.

Headstone Finishes

When it comes to choosing the type of finish for a headstone, there are a few different ones available: polished, part-polished, honed or eggshell, and lastly, pitched. Polished quite literally ‘does what it says on the tin’; it has a smooth and shiny finish but will require some maintenance. It could also look slightly out of place in older graveyards. Again, part-polished is fairly self-explanatory. With this finish, you can emphasise certain parts of the gravestone such as the inscription. Honed or eggshell finishes are achieved by removing a layer of polish, leaving the stone smooth and not shiny. A pitched finish gives a headstone a more aged look; this is particularly fitting if you want it to fit into a more traditional churchyard.

• Polished
• Part-polished
• Honed
• Eggshell
• Pitched
• Other finishes

Contact

To hear more about the options for different gravestones we provide here at Cope Memorials, please do not hesitate to get in touch. Our highly-experienced team is incredibly knowledgeable, and will always be more than happy to offer impartial, useful advice. You can call us on 01173 602 187, or fill out one of our online contact forms and we’ll be in touch.

 

When dealing with grief or attending a funeral there are a few things that you can do to make the day a little easier. By practising grief meditation and mindfulness it can be helpful when you’re experiencing feelings of great sadness or the memories of a deceased loved one are disrupting your life and making it difficult to perform everyday tasks.

Grief meditation

To help the bereaved cope with sadness and stress, grief meditation is often used. This practice involves spending a period of time, or even just a few seconds, focusing on being present and in the moment, while not engaging in distracting thoughts.

This type of meditation can be practised to help with attending a funeral right through to coping with daily life after a loved one has died. Grief meditation can help everyone, but it’s particularly beneficial to those coping with grief or attending a funeral.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is similar to grief meditation, however, this involves being in a state of great focus on the individual’s present moment, acknowledging unpleasant and painful feelings and thoughts (such as grief and sadness), but actively choosing not to be distracted or distressed by them.

This meditation practice has become increasingly more popular over the last few years and it is often used for cognitive-behavioural therapy. It is recommended by the NHS to improve your mental well-being.

Mindfulness can be practised anywhere and everywhere, from sitting at home in your bedroom, to at your desk at work, while shopping or even when playing sports. The most important thing to remember is that you cannot force yourself to be mindful and trying too hard has the opposite effect.

Contact Cope Memorials

We realise that this short blog won’t have made what you’re going through any easier, but hopefully, it will provide you with a foundation for different meditative options available to you when coping with grief. Here at Cope Memorials, we’re always more than happy to help you choose the right type of headstone, all you need to do is get in touch. You can give us a call on 01773 602 187, or fill out our online contact form.

Online memorials have become increasingly popular over the last decade – millions of people have created one for their departed loved one as a way to recognise and remember them.

What is an online memorial?

An online memorial is a website that has been created for a deceased person. It provides a central location for family and friends to visit, share stories, fond memories, photos, as well as comfort one another and grieve.

The memorial can remember online for life or be available only for a specific period of time.

Originally, online memorials surfaced on the internet during the late 1990s, predominantly for well-known people in the world. This has now evolved into being available online for anyone who wishes to pay tribute to their departed loved one and ensure they are remembered.

What is included on an online memorial website?

Typically, the content published on an online memorial includes a biography, photos, and any stories posted from family members and friends. This can also be extended to include a timeline of key events in their life, along with any favourite music, and even videos.

Other features include visitors sending condolences and support in the form of candles and acceptance of thoughts. Furthermore, some online memorials also direct visitors to the departed person’s favourite charity or cause, encouraging visitors to make a donation as an alternative to sending funeral flowers.

How can I make an online memorial?

Website memorials

There are two ways in which you can make an online memorial. Either create your own independent site, or by using an established memorial site, which is what many choose to do. Memorial sites are easy to use, create and personalise; it can be done in less than 30 minutes.

Social Media memorials

Alternatively, you remove or turn the deceased person’s Facebook profile into a memorial for free when you show proof of death. Once a Facebook page is memorialised, any sensitive information will be removed, but friends and family can still post memories or condolences.

You can also turn Instagram accounts into memorial pages. On Twitter, you can request to get your departed loved ones profile removed or deactivated.

Contact Cope Memorials

Here at Cope Memorials, we’re always more than happy to help you choose the right type of headstone, all you need to do is get in touch. You can give us a call on 01773 602 187, or fill out our online contact form.

Throughout the United Kingdom, and other countries that make up The Commonwealth, Remembrance Day is celebrated on the 11th November. It is a day that marks the anniversary of the end of fighting in World War I. Here in the UK, we observe it by assembling for two minutes of silence beginning at 11am. Poppies have also become the symbol of the day, and wreaths of them are laid out at war memorials as well as artificial ones worn on clothing.

Here are some other nations across the world that celebrate their version of Remembrance, or Memorial Day.

DODENHERDENKING – THE NETHERLANDS

In The Netherlands, Dodenherdenking (which means ‘remembrance of the dead’) is held every year on the 4th May. This day celebrates all civilians and military members who died in conflicts since World War II. It is observed throughout the country with a two minutes silence at 8pm and even public transportation is halted.

ARMISTICE DAY – BELGIUM

In Belgium, they also celebrate Armistice Day on the 11th November to mark the anniversary of the end of World War I. The country uses this day to remember all the fallen soldiers.

VOLKSTRAUERTAG – GERMANY

This day is celebrated on whichever Sunday falls closest to the 16th November and honours the dead. There was a brief period, when Germany was under Nazi rule, that this day was used for propaganda and turned from a day of remembrance to a day of hero worship.

VICTORY DAY – RUSSIA

This is a holiday in Russia that commemorates the surrender of Nazi Germany in 1945. It is observed by military parades, mass processions, gatherings at monuments and religious commemorations.

YOM HAZIKARON – ISRAEL

This is a memorial day observed in Israel for the fallen soldiers of the wars of Israel and for victims of actions of terrorism. The day opens with a one-minute siren the preceding evening at 8pm. During which, everyone commemorates by standing in silence and showing respect. By law all places of entertainment close on the eve of Yom Hazikaron. The names and ranks of every fallen soldier who died for Israel are displayed in a 24-hour broadcast on television.

QINGMING FESTIVAL (清明节) – CHINA

Qingming Festival, known as ‘Tomb-Sweeping Day’ in English, falls on the first day of the fifth solar term in the traditional Chinese calendar. This is a day where families visit the tombs of their ancestors. Whilst visiting they make ritual offerings, pray and clean the gravesites. Offerings include eating traditional dishes and the burning of joss sticks and joss paper.

Qingming Festival has been observed in China for over 2,500 years and became a public holiday in mainland China in 2008. This festival is also observed in several other surrounding countries, including Taiwan, Hong Kong, Macau, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia and Thailand.

DÍA DE MUERTOS – MEXICO

Día de Muertos, known as ‘day of the dead’ in English, is celebrated throughout Mexico and involves the gathering of friends and family to pray for and remember friends or family members who have died and help support their spiritual journey. In Mexican culture, death is viewed as a natural part of the human cycle. Therefore, it is now seen as a day of sadness, but one of celebration instead as their deceased loved ones awaken and celebrate with them. Día de Muertos has been observed in Mexico for as long as 2,500 – 3,000 years.

ANZAC DAY – AUSTRALIA & NEW ZEALAND

Anzac Day (April 25th) is the anniversary of the first major military action fought by Australian and New Zealand forces during World War I. It begins with commemorative services, followed by marches of former military personnel.

MEMORIAL DAY – UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Memorial Day, previously known as ‘Decoration Day’, in America is a federal holiday dedicated to honouring and mourning the military personnel who have died while serving in the United States armed forces.

Contact Us

Cope Memorials specialise in designing and building memorials for your loved one. We’re always more than happy to help you choose the right type of headstone, all you need to do is get in touch. You can give us a call on 01773 602 187, or fill out our online contact form.