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While memorials should, without doubt, be completely personal, there is sometimes a case for making a more public, well-known one. There are a number of incredibly well-known, high profile memorials throughout the world. Here, we take a brief look at a few of them, and at what makes them so special. 

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

This is more of a concept than a specific structure. Memorials that simply wish to commemorate unnamed or unknown individuals for their heroic acts are excellent ways of commemorating people. Every continent has one, highlighting the popular nature of this concept. 

The Holocaust Memorial

One of the most high profile memorials in Europe, the holocaust memorial remembers so many people, and yet still manages to represent them as individuals. It comprises of 2, 711 rectangular slabs, and creates a relatively unorganised feeling. This could have been intended to represent the victims’ diversity, but, overall, the monuments’ sombre nature is certainly appropriate for the circumstances. 

The Cenotaph

One of London’s more well-known memorials is the Cenotaph in Whitehall. It was officially unveiled in 1920, and represents the end of the First World War. Cenotaph literally means ‘empty tomb’; it symbolises the unprecedented losses suffered around the world during the conflict. 

Martin Luther King, Jr. memorial

We could have chosen from a great, wide range of respectful, well-designed memorials to honour individuals. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s is one of the more high profile examples, consisting of a stone carving of the man himself. It represents a fitting dedication to a great man, and honours the struggle in America for freedom and equality. 

Arc de Triomphe

Paris’ iconic memorial honours all those who fought and died for France in the Napoleonic and Revolutionary wars. Construction on the Arc began in 1806; it lies at the end of the Champs-Élysées, and remains one of the primary tourist attractions for the city to this day. Interestingly, a tomb of the unknown soldier lies underneath the memorial. 

While we have never been involved in any construction plans of the magnitude mentioned in this post, we are one of the leading stonemasons in the East Midlands. Please do get in touch with us if you require our services; call us on 01773 602 187, or fill out an online contact form. We provide our services across Derby, Nottingham, Chesterfield and Burton on Trent.

What to Consider When Choosing a Cemetery

Whether you are choosing a burial plot for yourself, or for a loved one, there is a lot to consider before doing so. This can be a difficult and overwhelming time, so it is important to arm yourself with as much useful information as possible before going ahead with a quick decision. Firstly, there are a few different types of cemetery available: public cemeteries, independently or corporately owned; religious cemeteries; district or municipal cemeteries, which are non-profit cemeteries; and national or veterans cemeteries, which are run by the government.

We would suggest familiarising yourself with the different options that are available and paying them a visit, you may have one leading plan in your head and completely change your mind when you go to visit in person. Getting a sense for the surrounding grounds, overall area and the staff working there are the main things that can persuade or put you off completely. How well are the grounds being looked after? Is the cemetery in a nice area? How far away is the location from home? These are just some of the important factors to consider before purchasing.

Feel at Ease

When choosing a cemetery and selecting a plot, you want to feel at ease and peaceful when you’re on the grounds. Choosing somewhere calm with a good ambience will give you a sense of relief, knowing your loved one is being laid to rest somewhere tranquil and undisturbed.

Cost and Personal Requests

Selecting the right cemetery that ticks all the right boxes for you may mean you need to compromise certain aspects, which could mean your budget. Additional fees may be added if you have special requests or specific requirements, such as a particular setting or requesting room for further family members to be buried too (purchasing several plots at a time can often be cheaper than buying them individually.) Burial ground fees are calculated on the size of the grave and the costings of the headstone needs to be considered also.

Green Cemetery or Home Burial

Green burials are a modern and forward way of thinking when it comes to funerals and thinking about which cemetery is best for you. For people who are aware and concerned about the environment, lack of land and want to be cost-effective, a green burial has many benefits and advantages towards the environment. Some of these include consuming fewer resources, reduction of carcinogenic fumes, preserving land and preserving wildlife.

Rules and Regulations to Consider

Before making the decision on where you or your loved one would like to be buried, you need to consider the cemetery’s rules and regulations, as each can differ depending on the cemetery. Some of the rules and regulations can include headstone specifications or restrictions, what decorations can and cannot be used and visiting hours may differ. Considering which cemetery to choose to be buried in will always be an intricate process, but it should result in a lovely reflection on the deceased person’s life whatever your family’s wishes may be. 

Contact

If you would like further guidance and advice on choosing the right cemetery for you, or you have any questions about the services we provide, please fill out an online enquiry form, or give us a call today on 01773 602 187 or 07817 187371. We provide our services across Derby, Nottingham, Chesterfield and Burton on Trent.

Green Is the New Black

In the society we live in today, there are plenty of funeral options, but many people are beginning to consider how we can make them more eco-friendly and less damaging to the environment. The prevalent burial process utilises mass amounts of chemicals and materials within the procedure, that end up in the ground. Knowing what the standard burial process is and the damage to the environment it can make, has inspired people to think of alternative ways for a more eco-friendly burial and how we can make a positive impact by choosing to have a green burial.

What Is a Green Burial?

A green burial, or ‘natural burial’ is an alternative way of laying your loved one to rest.  Opposing to the traditional cemetery, this eco-friendly burial process consists of offering a tranquil place for family and friends to visit and reflect, the space will be somewhere open and natural such as a woodland, meadow or field, ultimately being a space that focuses on preserving the organic beauty of the environment and encouraging wildlife and greenery. A green burial does not permit a headstone, as the intention of this is for the body to return to nature. However, there are some examples of biodegradable headstones, or a tree being planted in replacement.

Why Choose a Green Burial?

A green burial is the only sustainable alternative to other forms of burial and cremation. Green burials are a safe, eco-friendly and natural process that is in no way damaging to the environment, unlike the traditional burial procedures. Visitors are always welcome at any time, to enjoy the peace and tranquility and have a beautiful space to think and reflect. It is a lovely way of returning the body back to nature, and is a modern, thoughtful and revolutionary way of burial in comparison to other traditional ways.

Contact

If you are interested in learning more about green burials, or you have any questions about the services we offer here at Cope Memorials, please feel free to get in touch with one of our friendly members of staff, by filling out an online enquiry form, or give us a call on 01773 602187 today. We provide our services across Derby, Nottingham, Chesterfield and Burton on Trent.

A Guide on Funeral Etiquette

When attending a funeral, it is important to be considerate towards the family members’ wishes. Understanding correct funeral etiquette will prepare you to enter a funeral service in a comfortable and respectful way. Important factors to consider before attending a funeral would be what to wear, where to sit, whether you should bring anything with you, and whether it would be appropriate for you to attend. We have put together a few tips within this guide to assist you with all the important fundamentals to remember before entering any funeral service.

What to Wear to a Funeral

Black is the traditional colour for funeral attire due to its representation of mourning and is a sign of respect and the general norm for funeral etiquette. Darker colours and something conservative is always a safe and respectful option to consider. Listen to what the family suggest, as some may request for guests to wear something bright to celebrate their loved one’s life or ask to wear a certain colour in memory of the deceased. Guests are generally required to dress in smart attire. We would suggest avoiding anything too casual, while also making sure you are comfortable and what you are wearing is weather appropriate – especially if you are attending a burial.

What to Bring

Deciding on what to bring to a funeral can be difficult. Whether you are a family member, friend or acquaintance, it’s helpful to know what the right things to bring would be, to avoid feeling uncomfortable throughout the day. Depending on the relationship you had with the deceased and family members, it is always a thoughtful gesture to bring flowers or a sympathy card to show your respects. If you were not particularly close with the family’s loved one, being present and showing that you’re thinking of them by supporting them on the day is just as appropriate and a thoughtful component of acceptable funeral etiquette.

Useful things to remember to bring with you can include:

• Tissues/ Handkerchief 
• Sympathy Card
• Flowers or Charity donation 
• A photograph/ Story/ Memory
• Umbrella/ Sunglasses

Where to Sit

The first couple of rows are typically reserved for close family members. Being respectful by arriving slightly earlier and getting a seat at the back, allowing room for extended family and friends is an important factor to consider. Once seated, remain quiet and dutiful throughout the service until the end.

 What Happens After the Funeral?

 After the majority of most services, the family and funeral directors will have arranged a wake. This is an opportunity for the guests and family to get together and share fond memories over some light refreshments and drinks in either a private function or in the comfort of a family member’s home. This is the perfect opportunity to properly pay your respects or share a memory of the deceased. 

Contact

If you have any other questions regarding proper funeral etiquette, our team at Cope Memorials would be more than happy to answer any questions you may have. For information on the other services we provide, please fill out an online form, or give us a call today on our landline 01773 602 187 or mobile 07817 187371. We provide our services across Derby, Nottingham, Chesterfield and Burton on Trent.

When a loved one passes away, it can be difficult to really put into words exactly how much they mean to you. You want to be able to pay proper tribute and respect, but how can you articulate so many memories and so much emotion faithfully on paper? Creating a eulogy may seem like a daunting and insurmountable task, however there is no need to worry as Cope Memorials are here to help ease the burden. Below we have put together a useful guide to assist our customers when writing and delivering a eulogy.

The Preparation

The planning stage is a crucial component when it comes to writing and delivering a eulogy. Write down significant moments and achievements in the life of the deceased as well as any special memories that you share; this may also mean speaking to other family members and friends to create a well-rounded view of the departed. Pay close attention to important dates or names of people whom you plan on mentioning as these need to be delivered correctly and respectfully. 

Whilst it is important when writing and delivering a eulogy to decide on the overall tone of your tribute, don’t be afraid to share some humor amidst more sombre moments. After all, a funeral is both a time to grieve as well as a time to celebrate the life of your loved one, therefore the whole process can be very cathartic and simultaneously uplifting. 

Writing a Eulogy

Writing down your eulogy will not only help you properly structure your tribute but will also give you an indication of the overall timing and pace of your speech. The ordering of what you say is completely flexible, however we recommend having a clearly defined introduction, middle section and conclusion. For example, you could begin by talking about your fondest memory with the deceased, then go through highlights of their career or family life, ending with how they have impacted the lives of those around them.

Delivering a Eulogy

The overall process of writing and delivering a eulogy is extremely emotional, therefore it is understandable if you find yourself struggling to stem the flow of tears. Take courage and strength from those listening to you, pause for a moment to allow yourself to breathe, and then carry on. Your delivery doesn’t have to be perfect – in fact you may well finding yourself moving back and forth between laughing and crying – just remember to speak from the heart.

The expert team here at Cope Memorials are always on hand to assist our customers with their headstone needs. If your loved one has passed away and you would like further advice and guidance on memorials, don’t hesitate to contact us by calling on 01773 602 187 or by completing our online form.

Accepting that someone we love has gone is never easy, and no-one ever gets over it. Nor should anyone be expected to; it’s a heartbreaking part of life that everyone goes through at some point.

Regardless of the kind of funeral you opt for, many people choose to commemorate their loved one with a headstone, or some kind of memorial. Here, we’re talking about the importance of that memorial, both in terms of what it represents and how it can help with the healing process.

Remembering

Obviously, you don’t need a headstone to remember someone you’ve lost. Commemoration, however, brings those fond memories to life, in some ways. Creating something unique to represent a person after they’ve passed away can help to preserve their presence on earth. It’s all symbolic, of course, but it’s a nice touch that can help with the healing process in a number of ways.

Somewhere to visit

All of our points are very closely linked; the common theme is memory. Another advantage of a good headstone is that it offers people a place to come to remember their loved one. This can be done through leaving flowers, or something as simple as a five minute visit every few weeks. You don’t need a headstone to visit your loved one’s favourite place, but it offers a peaceful, quiet environment that hopefully isn’t too far away. Having somewhere to visit your loved one can be extremely comforting, and it offers a place for you to visit that is always going to be there.

Leaving a mark

It’s important to leave imprints on the world, and a headstone provides the perfect opportunity for your loved one to do exactly that. In 200 years’ time, when your loved one’s great, great, great, grandson is trying to piece together their family tree, having something physical, permanent for them to visit is extremely important. It’s always important to continue to create history, and headstones certainly help do that.

Cope Memorials

Here at Cope Memorials, we create completely unique, timeless headstones and memorials. If you would like to talk to us about our work, or are interested in viewing any samples, please do not hesitate to get in touch. Call us on 01173 602 187, or fill out our online contact form.

Relieving the strain on loved ones during a difficult time; ensuring that costs don’t run too high; having clarity on your final wishes; these are just some of the many reasons why more people are arranging their own memorial service. 

We understand that for some it is a life-affirming experience whilst for others it still remains a difficult task to approach. Here at Cope Memorials we want to help ease the burden and have put together some of the things to consider when planning your funeral:

If You Would Like Cremation or Burial

When it comes to planning your funeral, the first option many people will consider is the traditional burial. There are actually several locations available in which you can choose to be laid to rest. Aside from your local parish churchyard you can purchase an ‘exclusive right to burial’ in a cemetery, which gives you the right to be buried in that grave without owning the land. For a different approach, there is the environmentally-conscious natural or ‘green’ burial. Returning the body to the ground without embalming and without a casket, trees are often planted in memory of the deceased. 

Similar to a green burial, cremation does not involve embalming and is often more cost-effective than a burial, with loved ones scattering ashes in a place special to the departed. However, if none of these choices are for you then you can also opt to donate your body for medical and scientific research.

Your Memorial or Headstone

Whether you have decided on burial or cremation, you can still have a special place for your loved ones to visit after your passing. From plaques to headstones we recommend really taking your time when determining the material, size, and words written on your memorial. Deciding on the right epitaph can be difficult, therefore we have created an inscription guide to help you choose your words of remembrance.

http://www.ecopeandson.co.uk/inscription-ideas/ 

Tributes from Loved Ones

You may have a particular song or poem that is close to your heart or represents your life and experiences. As you are planning your funeral consider if you would like a piece to be read in your memory and which loved one will be asked to do this. Flowers are beautiful and are commonly given by friends and family wishing to pay their respects, however, as an alternative you can request that they make a donation in your name to a meaningful charity or cause.

Payment of the Service

The expense of planning your funeral can be worrying and is something you may not be able to afford to pay out in one lump sum. Though costs can run up to thousands of pounds, there is no need to worry as you can find lots of payment schemes to suit your circumstances. When deciding on a scheme you will want to think about what fees it will cover and the restrictions with regards to funeral directors. Take a look at this useful information from the Money Advice Service on the various payment plans available and your options for protecting funeral finances.

https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/funeral-plans

Cope Memorials has been established for over 100 years and we are extremely proud of our high quality products and considerate, expert team of craftsmen. If you are planning your funeral and need to discuss a headstone or memorial requirement please call us on 01173 602187 or fill in our contact form.

We carry with us, at all times, the memories of those who have passed away. However, this can be particularly difficult during the festive season when we are surrounded by merriment and laughter but not the company of our deceased loved ones. Whether this is your first Christmas, or one of many spent grieving the loss of someone important to you, Cope Memorials offer six ways of remembering a loved one during the holidays:

Make a Stocking of Memories

Hanging up stockings has long been a Christmas tradition and your mantelpiece may feel a little empty without that special person’s name amongst the other family members. One way of remembering your loved one is to ask everyone to write down a memory, quote, or saying about the departed on a piece of paper, put these in the stocking, and then read them out in turn.

Hang an Ornament on the Tree

Many families have a tradition of making their own ornaments and then decorating their Christmas tree together. A wonderful way of remembering a loved one during the festive period is to purchase or make a bauble or candy cane with their name on it and then hang this in your favourite place on the tree.

Make a Donation on Their Behalf

If you feel comfortable enough to do so, go through the possessions of the deceased and look for any good quality items – aside from those particularly special or important to you – such as clothing, books, and toys that can be donated to local homeless shelters, hospitals, and charities. Helping those who are less fortunate, particularly at Christmas time, is a wonderful choice for remembering a loved one.

Watch Old Family Videos

Although this can be bittersweet and sometimes painful, playing old videos is a good way of reminiscing on fond times with your loved one and gives people the opportunity to share their favourites memories. The mixture of tears and laughter will undoubtedly be a cathartic experience. 

Light a Candle

A simple but endearing way of remembering a loved one during the holiday season is to place a candle in front of their picture and light this on Christmas day. Originally a Catholic tradition, the candle represents light triumphing over darkness and is therefore a beautiful symbol of love and respect for the deceased.

Create a Memorial Garden

Winter is the perfect time of year to plant spring flowers – such as daffodils – so that when March/April time comes around, your garden will start to come alive with colour. Dedicating a small area of your garden to the departed will give you a peaceful area of respite as well as a place to talk to and think about them whenever needed.

Christmas is always a painful time when it comes to remembering absent friends, therefore don’t feel ashamed if things don’t feel natural and you need to have a moment to yourself every now and then. Never forget that you are surrounded by people who love you, share in your grief, but, most importantly, are there to support you. The team here at Cope Memorials are expert stonemasons and can help you create that perfect memorial for your loved one this season, just give us a call on 01773 602 187 or fill in our online contact form.

Christmas should be a time people look forward to, but it’s not always the case. It can actually be the hardest time of the year when you’ve lost someone close to you, and it’s not always easy for people to appreciate that.

That’s why we thought we’d put together this short piece explaining how you can help those closest to you deal with such a difficult time. Your approach as partner, parent, child, or friend will obviously differ depending on the exact situation you find yourself in, but there are certainly some general ground rules that are applicable for most circumstances.

Involvement

Christmas is so hectic that it’s very easy to become a bit lost in all of the commotion. That’s not necessarily a bad thing; some people find it helps them to stay busy, surround themselves with people, and not dwell. If you find that your bereaved relative or friend is reaching out a lot, often seeking to meet up or looking to chat, then make the time to let them do so. If they prefer to occupy themselves, then they’re going to need people around them who can make that possible. You can make sure you’re that person.

Space

On the contrary, some people need to be left alone. This might seem counterintuitive to some, but giving yourself some time on your own to reflect can often prove very healing in the long term. If you’re used to spending lots of time with someone, and they express the need to spend a bit of time on their own, then it’s best that you allow that. Understandably, you might be concerned if they’re completely isolating themselves, but you’ll be able to tell if they’re taking it too far. Just be sure to check in on them from time to time, so you can monitor how they’re doing.

This is a particularly hard one to judge sometimes – if you’re celebrating Christmas and the person in question seems completely set against the idea of any festivities, then it’s best not to pester them to get involved. As long as you’re attentive when required, and give them what they want and the support they need, you won’t go far wrong.

Conversation

Let your relative or friend guide the conversation. If they’re in the mood to talk about the person they’ve lost, then you should let them do so, and listen to them. If, however, they’re avoiding the topic, don’t force them to bring it up. Give them time, and let them broach the subject at their own pace. Try to keep the subject as light as you can for the most part initially, and avoid bringing anything up that’s likely to irritate or upset.

Final points

Finally, we’ve put together a list of generic points to abide by when you’re supporting a grieving person.

• Let them lead the way
• Accept that everyone grieves different
• Remain positive, but avoid clichés
• Look after yourself – this can be tough for you, too

 
We’ve only briefly run you through some of the key points to consider – the honest truth is that you’re going to have to do a lot of working out yourself. The person in question comes above anything else, and even these general rules won’t apply in every circumstance. They key is being there, and helping them to feel comfortable enough in processing their grief however they need.

Funeral rites are an extremely important practice to many cultures and religions, each with their own specific traditions that help family and friends come to terms with the passing of a loved one, bless the passage of the deceased into the afterlife, and grant those who remain the opportunity to grieve and heal together. In today’s blog, Cope Memorials takes a look at some of the different funeral rites and traditions from around the world:

Hanging Coffins

One of the funeral rites carried out in the Philippines involves placing the deceased in the fetal position and hanging or nailing their coffin to the side of a cliff. This traditional practice stems from the concept that you should pass into the afterlife the way that you were born; raising the body up to the sky helps bring the deceased closer to the spiritual plain. Moreover, the cliff provides a secure resting place from predators and prevents the body from disintegrating in waterlogged soil.

Funeral of Jazz

New Orleans is famous for its jazz funeral, where American, African, and French traditions come together to produce lively and music-filled funeral rites that celebrate the life of a musician who had passed away. Friends and family leave the funeral home, led by a band, and form a procession to the cemetery to bury the departed. The music then changes from a mournful tune to a lively beat; people dance in joy and remembrance, passersby creating a ‘second lining’ by joining in with the celebrations.

Turning of the Bones

Known locally as ‘Famadihana’, these funeral rites from Madagascar are carried out around every five to seven years and bring the family together to pay their respects to long-gone loved ones. The deceased are brought out of their tombs and are wrapped in fresh shrouds, their names written on the wraps, and given gifts, whilst the family dance around the grave, sometimes with the departed.

Beads of Ash

In response to an ever-increasing lack of space, South Korea has moved away from traditional burials and instead turn to cremation. Their process of cremation, however, is particularly unique and somewhat controversial; the ashes of the deceased are heated to very high temperatures and then formed into beads, which can be kept safe and close by in a glass box.

Post Mortem Pictures

The Victorians were known for their strange and, what we might today consider, unsettling practises and traditions. Their somewhat morbid approach to funeral rites involved photographing the deceased in commemoration of their life and to help assuage the grief of the remaining family members, who would sometimes be sat or stood in the picture as well.

Paying the Ferryman

In Ancient Greece, appeasing the Gods was a significant part of everyday life. When a loved one passed away, the family would ensure that Charon – the ferryman of Hades – would safely take the soul of the deceased to the Underworld by offering him an ‘obolos’, a coin that was placed in the mouth of the departed during burial. The Ancient Greeks feared that by not providing adequate payment, the spirits of their loved ones would be doomed to restlessly wander the earth.

Saying goodbye to those we hold dear is difficult, which is why it’s so important to have something special by which you can remember them. For beautiful, bespoke memorials and headstones to commemorate a loved one, contact the expert stonemasons at Cope Memorials. You can reach us by calling on 01773 602 187 or by completing our quick and simple online contact form.